Negotiation 101
My first experience with negotiation happened when I was 23 and one of the female leaders in my office saw some of the ways my managers were treating me by adding more on my plate. Her comment was innocent enough, she just wanted to make sure I was keeping records of what I was doing and the impact I was having for the time we do performance reviews (I wasn’t).
I wanted to write something like this post for a while now because I realized that asking for raises was not as common, especially among women, as I thought, and I did not have enough women in my life teaching me to lobby for it. In fact, my mom, who came to America at 25 after living in India all her life, taught me a job is a privilege denied to many and I should do nothing to rock the boat. She is not wrong, a job is truly a gift. But knowing how to ask for what your worth will keep you more engaged in the role, a better advocate for yourself, and you will be better at passing that knowledge on (closing the wage gap one woman and minority at a time).
A couple years later, I am so grateful that she came up to me and told me to incorporate everything into a business case, because those discussions inspired me to ask for what I was worth. By the end of my tenure at that job, I was making 2.5 times more than the salary I was hired on- giving me some leeway to have some savings, and not living paycheck to paycheck; a big win in NYC especially.
Here are the most useful tips for negotiation discussions in my experience:
- Come in with a detailed plan backed up by data.
Asking for a raise should be a serious meeting. If you don’t take it seriously, your manager won’t either. If I made a process more efficient, saving internal labor costs or got a service for free with a contact of mine, I would add it to my salary ask as long as it was in line for market price. I would keep a record of any time my efforts led to a perk for the company, and ask for the high numbers because I knew I could back it up.
2. Convince yourself first.
No one will believe you if you don’t believe you. No matter how much people say fake it till you make it, you should truly believe that you deserve that raise before having the conversation. Do whatever it takes to make it easier for you to believe in you. Even Sasha Fierce had to exist for Beyonce — there is no problem in admitting that you need some help in seeing your full worth. A lot of us have imposter syndrome — but build some strategies like an alter ego that has all the qualities you want to have, and emulate him/her.
3. Come in with market data as benchmarks.
You should definitely have the market data available to you with services like Glassdoor. It’s important to know what the market asks for in terms of salary so that you know your ask is within reason — and it is just another data point to add to your argument.
4. Do not come in asking for personal reasons.
As friendly as your boss and workplace are, the reality is that most likely, coming in and asking for a raise because you want to get pregnant next year or save up for more vacations is not the right way to sell your cause. Keep it business minded, and keep the focus on the ways your are adding lift in your current role. We all have things to pay for — bills and costs that are personal will fall on deaf ears, as well as sound unprofessional. I have noticed more women doing this than men.
5. Do not use another offer for more money somewhere else as a bargaining chip.
To your employer, you already have motivations to leave. Do not leave to stay.
6. Practice with someone outside of your workplace (the parts that are general and not confidential).
They will be an even and objective measure to you on how confident you sound in your pitch, and often spot errors you won’t. A good trick of making sure the argument makes sense is it if will make sense to someone outside of the organization. A friend or a mentor will give you honest feedback.
7. Pass it on. Advocate for others to get raises when you are finally in the seat to make those decisions.
Every situation is different. Make sure you only take the bits above that serve you.
What has worked for you? Comment below!
Reth
